Holy Freakin’ Spider Batman!

Last night, B, S and myself were minding our own business, watching Survivor on TV. B looked across the dark family room and saw a huge spider on the wall just above S’s head. He was smiling, thinking that I was pranking S and waiting for the total freak show that was about to happen… until it MOVED!!!! This spider’s body was the size of a nickel and the leg span was probably about 4-5 inches and it was just inches from her head!!!!

He thought he better warn her, so he pointed out that there was a huge spider right by her head… She jumped off the couch, screaming and B turned on the light, which made the spider a little shy. Spider jumped on the back of the couch to try to hide behind a pillow…..

 No, No, No…. HELL NO!!!!

That sucker was NOT going down the front of my couch and into the pillows and cushions. I grabbed the gallon of Spectracide to try to discourage it’s intended path and it scurried behind the couch….

I sprayed the wall and down the back of the couch… and sprayed, and sprayed….

We decided that we would probably have to burn the couch, unless we actually found this spider, because no way would we EVER be able to sit on it again until it was accounted for.

Meanwhile, S had abandoned us altogether and was hiding in her bedroom.

We carefully scooted the couch out from the wall, which is no simple task since it is L shaped and not a small couch. B grabbed the vacuum and I grabbed a flashlight and operation” Kill Shelob” was underway.

The spider crawled out from under the couch and was sitting on the bottom of the front of the couch. I grabbed the vacuum (with the hose and pole FULLY extended), turned it on, checked to make sure there was adequate suction and put it up to the couch.Imagine my disappointment when I did not hear the “thwuk” noise that I was fully expecting to hear as Shelob was removed from my couch. B thought it would be a good idea to put on some shoes so he could step on it in case it came charging out from under the couch….

We set down the hose, and I laid down on the floor, which required a cheek to the ground to see under the couch with the flashlight. I thought I saw it clinging to the underside of the couch in the back, so I grabbed the Spectracide again and drenched the underside of the couch, expecting to watch Shelob fall to the floor. I admit, that with the adrenalin pumping through my veins right then, that I was going to relish watching it wreathe in pain as it suffocated on the floor under my couch,
…… NOTHING HAPPENED!
 I grabbed the vacuum hose again and extended it out and with shaking hands, stuck it under the couch to knock the spider down.

It was a piece of lint….. NOT was I was hoping for :(

Ok, full panic was setting in now… where they hell did that freakin spider go to? We were looking in the tank on the vacuum… nothing! Several times, we checked under the couch again…. Nothing!

As we were letting the adrenalin settle down and ready to give up and go to bed, with every intention of making Wayne burn the contents of the family room the next day, B set his hand down on the ottoman that we had scooted several feet away from the couch, and well behind where we were laying with our faces on the floor. All of a sudden he screamed and started doing the aracnaphylactic dance (you totally know what I’m talking about don’t you?!) As he flicked his hand in the air, he launched Shelob  into the air and she landed on the other side of the ottoman…. MY side of the ottoman….

Braden screams : ” KILL IT MOM”, I scream back “YOU‘RE THE ONE WITH THE SHOES ON, YOU KILL IT”.

He raised his foot and with a quick jerk of his leg, flung a shoe in my direction. (He had put his toes into S’s shoes, so he couldn’t have stomped anything if he had tried!!) The shoe landed on the floor, right by the spider. Since B was screaming like a girl, and Wayne was upstairs pretending not to notice the fact that Armageddon was going on right below him, I had to man up, grab the shoe and smush Shelob myself.

 I did make Wayne come down stairs to clean up and flush the carnage down the toilet!

I have no idea how Shelob got from the couch to the ottoman, but it had to have been right past Braden and I while we were sprawled out with our faces on the floor….

EW…EWWWW…EWWWWWW…EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

I feel so violated now when I think of sitting on my couch!

I am going to have to re-think watching Survivor in the future. Not sure if I can handle the jungle coming to life in my family room ever again!

Other Mothers

I have been thinking a lot this week about mothers and wanted to share some of my thoughts here… mostly so I will remember them…

Let me start with something that happened yesterday. When I finished saying my prayers in the morning I was walking out of my room and I had the thought that I forgot to pray for my family’s safety, which is something that I do almost daily (except when I forget!).  The thought occurred to me that I should get back on my knees and do that. I talked myself out of it because I was in a hurry and it seemed silly to get back on my knees and say “PS… I forgot to ask for safety for my family today”….. I will NEVER EVER again think it seems silly to drop to my knees and utter such a brief prayer, especially when prompted to do so.

All day I had been planning on attending the temple last night with my hubs and some friends. When it got time to leave, I was running late and didn’t have time to take my car home, so I just left it at my friend’s house and Wayne picked us all up there. I tried to call S to have her get a ride to go over and pick up my car, but I couldn’t get her or her friend to answer their cell phones. No one answered the home phone. Normally I wouldn’t worry too much about that, but then I remembered what happened in the morning with the whole prayer thing and I started to get that tightness in my gut that mom’s get that indicated something is wrong. I kept calling and calling and couldn’t get either one of the girls to answer.

Since we had friends counting on us for a ride, I just put a smile on my face and we left. I knew that I needed to be at the temple last night. About halfway there, I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize…. That is NEVER a good thing!

It was S and she was hysterical. Her phone fell out of her pocket and tumbled down the trail at Victor Falls and she had gone after it. Her legs were all scratched up and she had rope burns all over her hands and wrist and her body ached from the adrenalin rush she had just experienced.

My instinct was to tell Wayne to turn the truck around, but I didn’t want to ruin the plans of the people who were with us and S was at her friend’s house and her friend’s mother was tending to her wounds, so I sucked it up and continued with our plans, knowing that she was being taken care of. The whole time I was at the temple, I felt distracted thinking about S and wondering how bad everything was going to look when I got home. But at the same time, I felt comfort in knowing that she was with an Other Mother and that she would take care of my child. With that said, TWICE while I was at the temple I had such a strong feeling that I was supposed to be there and that BECAUSE I was at the temple, S would be fine. There’s something to be said for being in the right place at the right time!

When I got home last night, I felt like such a horrible mother…. Being in too big of a hurry that morning to get back down on my knees to pray for my children…. and then abandoning one of my children in their hour of need. I have thought a lot about this since last night and this is the point I want to make….

We can’t always be the one to take care of our kid’s needs. Sometimes we have to rely on “Other Mothers” to be there for them when we can’t. It doesn’t make us any less important to our children and it doesn’t make us failures as mothers when someone else needs to step in and temporarily fill that role.  It’s comforting to know that there are other women out there who can have our backs!

I am so thankful for the Other Mother’s that have had a big impact on me and my family. It’s so comforting to know that when I can’t be there, my kids have somewhere they can turn to for help and comfort. My kids have been blessed with some truly amazing “Other Mothers” over the years and I am thankful for each and every one of you.  Without your influence and extra mothering, my children would not be the amazing people that they are today. I am truly blessed to associate with so many wonderful women who are such great examples of what mothers should be.

 I also want to mention my love and adoration for those women who were MY Other Mothers. I really appreciate the example that I had from other choice women while I was growing up and for their extra love and acceptance of me. This absolutely includes the most awesome mother in law that a girl could ask for. Of all the reasons I married Wayne, one of them was absolutely the package deal of getting Diane as one of my Other Mothers!

This takes nothing away from the amazing mother that I was so blessed with. I am not sure what I did in the pre-existence to be so lucky to have her as my mommy, but what a blessing for me that it worked out that way. I try and fail and try again, every single day, to emulate your example of what a mother should be.

Thank you momma for everything you have done for me and for being the most awesome example of unconditional love and kindness and all the other wonderful qualities that you possess. I know that you had it hard, but you made it look so easy because you are so genuine. I love you to the moon and back!