Mother

Last year I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day. In honor of Mother's Day this year, I thought I would once again share my thoughts that I shared last year at church.

(Some of my thoughts were from  the Ensign April 1998 "Behold thy Mother" by President Monson)

One day when I had small kids, my mother called me just to say hello. I had had a particularly bad day with several small children at home doing what they do, I was not feeling well, I had messy diapers to deal with, I had nothing planned for dinner and no desire to do anything about any of it. When she asked how I was doing I just started crying and my sniffled response was,

 “I am in the depths of motherhood and this is NOT what I signed up for”

Over the years, as my children have reached different stages in their life, I often reflect on how my own mother handled those stages when I was at that age. I try to remember the lessons she tried to teach me as I find myself struggling to teach those same lessons or principles to my own kids.

In preparing for this talk, my mother told me that you probably 

DON’T need to know most of the things she taught me...LOL!!!

There are, however a few lessons I have learned from my mother that I should share with you.

     It’s ok to rock your babies. It will not spoil them beyond repair.

     It’s ok to sing off key…in the shower.

         It’s ok to have milk & cookies at bedtime, but it’s much better to have banana bars.

         Dust is not mold (Although since living in Washington, I have come to doubt this wisdom)

       A pile of rocks and a creek bed are as much fun as Disneyland.

         You absolutely CAN live on love.

         It’s ok to grieve… families are forever

         Most importantly, it’s ok to forgive…

(I seem have trouble remembering this one)

One way we can demonstrate love for our mother is to live the truths that our mothers so patiently taught us. We are taught an example of this from the BOM by a brave and noble leader name Helaman who led 2,000 young men in righteous battle. He describes the activities of these young men:

 “Never had I seen so great courage … [as] they said unto me: Father, behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall;

“Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; … yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

“And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: 

We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” 

At the end of the battle, Helaman continued his description:

 “Behold, to my great joy, there had not one soul of them fallen to the earth; yea, and they had fought as if with the strength of God; yea, never were men known to have fought with such miraculous strength; and with such mighty power.” 

Miraculous strength, mighty power—mother’s love and love for mother had met and triumphed.

 What lessons did the stripling warriors learn from their mothers?

 In Alma 53-58 we learn about these warriors:

         “They were exceedingly valiant for courage” (Alma 53:20).

“They were … true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted” (Alma         53:20).

“They were men of truth and soberness” (Alma 53:21).

 They had “exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe” (Alma 57:26).

They “put their trust in God continually” (Alma 57:27).

They “[stood] fast in that liberty wherewith God [had] made them free” (Alma 58:40).

They were “strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day” (Alma 58:40).

They kept God’s “statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments continually”(Alma ).

“Their faith [was] strong in the prophecies” (Alma 58:40).

    These young Ammonites had developed these characteristics in their youth, 

before they became soldiers.

I imagine that their mothers bore testimony, on more than one occasion to instill in them such belief and faith and courage.

The scriptures and the pages of history are replete with tender, moving, and convincing accounts of mothers loved and of a mother’s love. 

One, however, stands out to me reverently and beyond any other. 

The place is Jerusalem.

Assembled is a throng of Roman soldiers loyal to Caesar. The hour has come. 

The personal earthly ministry of the Son of God quickly moves to its dramatic end. 

Nowhere to be found are the lame beggars who, because of this man, walk; the deaf who, because of this man, hear; the blind who, because of this man, see; the dead who, because of this man, live. 

There remained a few faithful followers. 

Among them was Mary, the mother of Jesus.

The following quote is from Jesus the Christ. P 660
"Jesus looking with tender compassion upon His weeping mother, as she stood with John at the foot of the cross, commended her to the care and protection of the beloved disciple, with the words,"Woman, behold thy son!" and to John, "Behold thy mother!"  The disciple tenderly led the heart-stricken Mary away from her dying Son, and "took her unto his own home," thus immediately assuming the new relationship established by his dying Master."

As we truly listen to that gentle command and, with joyful heart, obey its intent 

May we each treasure these truths; one cannot forget mother and remember God nor can one remember mother and forget God. Why is that? These two sacred persons, God and mother, are as one… 

partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, and in service just as God and Mary were.

I often ponder what it must have been like for Mary to witness the atrocities of her son being falsely accused, mocked, and tormented. She chose to be there for her child at the end, knowing it would mean witnessing a horrible agonizing death. She could not change His appointed mission , nor could she tend to His wounds or hold Him, but she could be there for Him to offer Him what little comfort she could; letting Him know that He was not alone in His suffering.

How ravaged her emotions must have been, knowing that she could not protect Him and knowing that even if she could have, He had to drink of the bitter cup alone.

I often wonder, as a mother, if I would have been able to watch all this happen. I imagine her heart breaking as she helplessly watched the events unfold.

Both Mary and the mother’s of the Ammonites lived in times where there were wars and rumors of wars, economic upheaval, and great exercise of power by the adversary…. 

Much like what we experience today.

As Mothers we may be called upon to send our sons to war 

or to a foreign land on an errand of the Lord.

We may have the unfortunate circumstance of outliving our children or watching them suffer from disease or from the consequences of their wrong choices; while we can do nothing more than let them know that they are not alone in their suffering.

There have been many instances when I felt prompted to immediately fall to my knees and plead for the safety of one of my children, not understanding why at the time. One such example happened a few weeks ago. I got home from work early but I felt very restless. Eventually the anxiety I felt was overwhelming, so I dropped to my knees to ask for peace. I found myself pleading with my Heavenly Father for the safety of Savanah who was in the drivers ed car at that very moment. When I picked her up from Driver’s ed, she informed me that someone had cut her off in traffic and nearly caused an accident. It was only her third time behind the wheel of a car and somehow she had the instincts to know what to do in that split second to avoid an accident. It may not have been a life threatening situation, but it could have been devastating to her. Perhaps that prayer offered her the protection she needed at that moment.

 To those who dearly want to be mothers and are not, I just want to mention that you have been promised that God will, in days that lie somewhere in your future, bring “hope to [the] desolate heart.” Prophets have repeatedly taught that ultimately “no blessing shall be withheld” from the faithful, even if those blessings do not come immediately. In the meantime, we can rejoice that the call to nurture is not limited to our own flesh and blood.

“To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife” 

(The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball)

Through the depths of motherhood and the occasional tears, as I realize that I am an imperfect mother trying my best to raise my Heavenly Father’s children, I know with everything in me, that I am doing God’s work. In this time of worldly chaos, we have the opportunity to be in an eternal partnership with God and have the influence of the Gospel to help guide us by calling on the powers of Heaven. It is deeply moving to come to understand that God finds His ultimate purpose in being a parent, even if some of His children make him weep. It is this understanding that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when the chaos can be overwhelming. Some days, I just want to throw my hands up and even as a mother myself, cry out, “I need my mommy”. 

Perhaps I should, in those instances throw my hands up and cry “I need my daddy” 

...My Father in Heaven.

Not only do I need Him to comfort me and help me through the rough moments, but I need Him to soften the hearts of my children and teach them directly without resistance. I offer you the hope that if we are in partnership with God, His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. If we commit to this partnership, we will truly understand that our children are His work and His glory. We are merely the caretakers at the moment.