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" Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"

Sunday, April 21, 2013

How to Eat An Elephant ~ Chapter Thirteen: Sometimes Silence Is Discipline Enough


My dad spent several years in the Army serving his country in Germany. He also had a love of hunting. As a result of his experiences, I grew up in a home where guns were not an unusual thing to see in the closet or hanging in the back window of dad’s pickup truck. I did not grow up living in fear because there were guns in our home.  He taught us to be patriotic and to stand up for our freedom and appreciate those people, who like himself, defend those freedoms that we enjoy and even take for granted some times.
My dad made it a point to educate us kids on the dangers of guns and what they should be used for… putting food on the table, bonding with his kids while shooting pop cans, hunting squirrels, etc. He made it a point to let us handle the guns in a safe and controlled way and therefore took away the mystery of them so that we had no desire to play with them when it wasn’t an appropriate time or place.
We had a lot of fun doing these activities with him. My brothers spent most of the time with him doing these activities, but occasionally I got to tag along. Jordon recalls one time when he was about 13 or 14 years old. It was in the fall and he asked dad if he could go shoot pop cans with the 22. Dad agreed so Jordon gathered up the pop cans, his gun and shells and they headed up by the junk yard.
They were shooting, having fun and enjoying the day when all of a sudden Jordon pulled the trigger and heard a big echo. He quickly realized that he had shot the side of the bed of the truck. He jumped inside the cab of the truck and locked the doors. He feared a butt kicking that he thought for sure he would get.
To his amazement, dad was outside laughing so hard at the way Jordon reacted that he didn’t even care that he had just shot the side of the pick up! That is how he was all of the time. He would always say, “We are just here to have fun and if we didn’t have fun, we should have fun trying.”

Dad had a way of letting you stew about a situation for a while before he talked to you about something you had done wrong. More often than not, by the time he actually talked to you about the situation, you had beat yourself up pretty badly all on your own and he didn’t really need to say a word about the incident because you had already given yourself a lecture on how stupid you had been and how you would never do it again.
A great example of this was another story that involved Jordon when he was about 11. We had all gotten new bikes for Christmas and Jordon was always trying to ride wheelies on his. Dad was always telling him to quit doing that because it wasn’t good for the bike. He even threatened him by telling him if he caught Jordon riding wheelies, Jordon was going to lose his bike.
One day Jordon and Mike Willie were out on the town and of course they were riding wheelies from 8th Street down to Lloyds and he passed dad coming towards him.  He knew instantly that he was busted and didn’t want to go home to face the fact that he was going to lose his bike. He hid out at Mike’s for the remainder of the day and even skipped going home for dinner. Then to make everything worse, dad called over there and asked if he could come home for a while because he had to talk to him about something. Jordon was sure he knew what it was about and boy was he scared! He took his time getting over to the house and when he got there dad asked him if he would come into his bedroom and shut the door. By this time Jordon was shaking with fear. Dad asked him to come sit on the bed with him (that was his M.O… he played that card with me several times as well. When he did this, you knew it was serious!!)
As Jordon sat on the bed with his face hung towards the ground, he felt something under the covers of his bed. He sat up and dad pulled back the covers and there sat a new deer rifle. Jordon wasn’t sure if dad intended to shoot him with it or what!! LOL!! Dad said he came across a good deal and couldn’t pass it up and asked if it was all right that he took the money of Jordon’s savings account to pay for it. Jordon never heard a word about riding wheelies on his bike until the day the handle bars broke because of riding wheelies. So the old man knew what he was talking about after all.

Many times growing up, I did similar things, got busted, beat myself up and then went back and did it again. Most times, I had punished myself much worse than he probably would have. I am so grateful for my dad’s patience with me during these times in my life when he told me not to do something and I did it anyway…and for his “silent” discipline. His quiet, gentle way allowed me time to think about my mistakes and of the consequences of my actions and many times I made a choice NOT to do something  I knew was wrong simply because I didn’t want to have him sit on the end of my bed and be disappointed in me. Even now, as an adult, I find myself making decisions based on not wanting to disappoint my dad. Those thoughts often take my mind to the bigger picture and think of what Heavenly Father thinks of my choices and decisions and how much I want to live my life in a way that doesn't disappoint Him. I don't want to find myself in Heaven sitting on the edge of a cloud with a loving Heavenly Father looking at me with disappointment in his eyes.

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