How to Eat An Elephant ~ Chapter Fifteen: A Letter to My Dad

Dear Daddy,

As we come upon another Father’s Day weekend without you, my heart is full of emotion. In just a few weeks we will remember the 20^th Anniversary of the day you left this earthly life to move on to bigger and better things. It’s so hard to believe that 20 years have gone by in the blink of an eye. I have thought about you every single day for the past 20 years and missing you does not get any easier.

As I am sure you know, I have been writing some memories down about the lessons you have taught me. Mostly so that I can remember and I want my kids to be able to know who you were and what you stood for. I also thought they might help other people get through some of their own struggles so I decided to follow your example and share these stories publicly. It seemed only fitting that I share these lessons in the hopes of helping others, because helping others is what you liked to do.

So today, instead of recalling a lesson, I thought I might just write you a letter for Father’s Day and tell you how much I miss you.  Before you passed away, you wrote me a letter. Do you remember that? You said, “I just want you to know how much I love you and that I hope you will always have just a little spot tucked away in your heart where your daddy can dwell as you go through life. I want to be there to make a difference. Family love is the best thing I could leave you, so remember I’m there in your heart just wanting you to feel that same love all the days of your life.” I no longer remember what your voice sounds like, but I feel you daddy, every day, in that special place in my heart that I saved just for you. I want you to know that you have made a difference. I am inspired by the struggles that you have overcome and every day I strive to live my life in a way, so that your efforts to give our family the opportunity of eternity, were not in vain.

You weren’t rich by the world’s standards and in the end you died without any real financial assets to speak of. But what you left this world was of far more value. You left an impression in people’s hearts and you have inspired many people to change their lives and to be better people because they knew you. What you left was not something the family had to divide up.  Each person who knew you has a little piece of that impression and each person has their own memories of you to hold on to and be inspired by. Every person who knew you could write chapters for this book and while the details would be a little different, the message would be the same. You had a big heart and the rich example that you left on this earth is not something that is limited to immediate family. It was something you shared freely with anyone who was truly paying attention.

You have taught me that not all super heroes wear capes. The real super heroes are the ones who quietly go about doing good in the world without the need for credit or recognition. Real super heroes are the moms and dads who spend time creating a loving family and welcoming in anyone who happens to need some extra love. I am so glad that you and mom raised us kids to be close to each other. You were right when you said that family love is the best thing you could leave us. I am so glad that you got to be my daddy and while there were some really hard struggles and some unpleasant lessons to learn, I am so thankful that I got to have a front row seat and be able to participate in the miracle that was your life.

I know you are probably really busy helping people where you are now. Thank you for taking the time to continue to dwell in that special place in my heart. It gives me comfort to know that you are still out there and that I can continue to feel that closeness to you. Happy Father’s Day daddy. I love you to the moon and back!

Love Bunky