The Mask

Some nights when I am having trouble sleeping, I lay there thinking of ways 

to manipulate or punk my kids. 

It's one of those inalienable rights as a parent to be able to tease & embarrass your offspring.

When they were little, I was a busy mom, so I would put the Oreo's in the microwave right as they were coming home from school... 

They would brag to their friends that "their mom makes HOMEMADE Oreo's!!

Hahaha... I was the mom who had it going on!

I also do things like trick them into eating oatmeal by adding it to foods like meatloaf and taco meat.

 It absorbs the excess grease from the hamburger, makes the hamburger go a little farther and 

they NEVER knew it was in there!!!

... until now, that is :)

We have this Halloween mask... it's like this old man with missing teeth and giant warts and long gray hair and beard. It's more like a cross between a zombie and a troll, actually.

Every once in a while, I run across it in a box and think it's time for it to make an appearance....

these are the things that I conspire with myself about in the wee hours of the night, when I can't sleep.

About a year ago, when I was packing up the house to move, I found it under my bed. 

(I like to keep it handy in case opportunity presents itself)

S was out in the pod and so I thought I would pay her a "visit".

I decided I would open the door and jump into the room all hunched over (with the mask on) and start walking around like Gollum and snorting.

I carefully open the door, jump in the room, like.... Ta-Da.....

and No S!!!!

Then I hear the shower shut off......hehehehe!

You know what's coming, don't you?

I stay hunched over as she walks out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel to protect herself 

(not even the trusty hairspray this time... see post about Stalker..hehehe)

She doesn't really notice me... until...

 I start snorting.....

SCREAMMMMMMMMM.....!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, I am rolling on the floor trying not to pee my pants....LOL!

Then.....

B is in the big house... supposedly packing.....

I decide to repeat the whole episode...

I jump into his room and start snorting.

He turns around, X-Box controller in his hand,

points the controller at me and starts pushing buttons on it..

like he's trying to neutralize the threat with the game controller.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

...again with the rolling on the floor trying to control bodily functions....

 I am going to either have to stop doing things that bring me to the edge of an accident or invest in a package of depends!
Lately, I have been thinking it would be fun to sew the bottom shut on E's new "honeymoon" clothes.....hehehe!