Stalker

One day about a year ago, I was in Walmart and I kept noticing a particular guy that was “shopping” in the same aisle as me… only he wasn’t ever really shopping. He would pick stuff up and look at it and then when I bump into him (not literally of course) in the next aisle, he never has the stuff that he was pretending to look at in the previous aisle. Normally I wouldn’t pay much attention to this, excect he was kind of creepy and it seriously kind of freaked me out… so now my freaked out mind is a little more paranoid than usual and I am convinced after seeing the same guy in two different aisles of the grocery store, that I am being stalked. ( I think I watch too much Law & Order)… So I abandon the rest of my list and head for the checkout line, all the while trying to be stealth…  I forgot to wear my “People of Walmart” disguise that day, so I was having trouble  blending in….

I get checked out and literally run (pushing a cart in the pouring rain) to my car, throw the groceries in the trunk, not even trying to save the eggs. At the time I was driving an Impalla SS, black with black limo tint windows… good for not being able to see what you are backing into,  but not so good at being a low profile type car that could easily get lost in traffic.

I am now thinking that maybe I should have “stalked” my stalker to know what kind of car he was driving. To be honest, someone could be stalking me every day and I would never know because I just don’t pay that much attention to what the car behind me looks like or how long it has been following me… but my radar was on high alert this time….  

As I am heading home, I think, I don’t want him to know where I live, (after all, I HAVE watched Criminal Minds) so I pull onto the island before MY island thinking I am going to fool him…. not really even knowing if said HIM is actually even following ME! I pull to a spot where I can see the main road and watch… again I have NO idea what I am actually watching for… but it made me feel terribly stealth. I notice a big white truck pull off to the side of the road just before the entrance to this island.

At this point… I panic…. No shame in that right? I remember that my neighbor is a cop and the whole ‘hood has the sheriff on speed dial because my neighbor’s neighbor is a drug dealer. So I drive to my island and pull over just past the entrance…. I am going to catch the bugger following me….

When a large white truck, similar to the one that stopped alongside the road by the previous island drives by, I swear I must have wet my pants… or maybe it was just the seat heaters kicking in!

 (Keep in mind, most of the residents of my island are contractors, so there are MANY large white trucks that have perfectly good reasons for being on my island.)

I drive home and without even unloading the groceries I pound on the neighbor’s door and tell him that if I end up missing, they should look for the guy in the big white truck… feeling safe and satisfied now that I had ratted him out to authorities, I head home to inform my family that life as they knew it was changed.

If you haven’t read my previous posts, then you need to know that my teenage girls slept in the guest apartment in the back yard… not attached to the big house… which is actually a small house and that’s why we didn’t have room for them in the big house! Got it? Good. I go out to the Pod (that’s what the girls nicknamed their living quarters) to  inform them  that they  need to keep ALL the doors locked, that dad & I are going to Bellevue for “dinner and a movie”  so we will be unavailable by phone and to NOT answer the door or even peek around the corner in the direction of the door if someone knocks. Anyone who has any business coming over, should have a key…

And we leave…. Caring of us right? Freak them out and leave….hahaha….

Here’s what happened while we were gone:

The girls are thoroughly freaked out by now. They are watching TV in the pod and they hear a crash against their door (one of older daughter’s friends brought her an anonymous gift and threw it at the door and left… but they don’t know this yet ) The girls are dancing around their room screaming as only freaked out teenage girls can scream… They finally calm down and decide they want to make a run for the big house. Armed with hairspray, they open the door and peek out. Not seeing anything they make a break for it. (meanwhile Braden is in the big house, oblivious to ANYTHING that is going on and the back door has been unlocked the whole time… Nice and safe, huh?) Safe in the big house, they are standing on the couch, peeking out the sliding door to see if anyone is walking around out there. Satisfied that no one is there, they grab some snacks (remember I mentioned this is the main reason they would come in the big house…) and RUN back out to the pod. They had a motion security light on the outside of their house… this is important in what happened next…

Attached to the pod, was a large garage/shop that had a lot of our stuff in storage inside. The girls hear a noise in the garage and then their motion light goes on.  Again with the screaming…..hahaha…..

They are peeking through the window to see if anyone is walking around and they are conspiring about crawling out the back window and running across the yard and jumping the fence into the cop’s backyard, but at the last minute decided to abort that mission since they were afraid that Tucker (the cops bull mastiff) would eat them.  Not knowing what else to do, they called big brother to let him know they were trapped in the pod,  by mom’s stalker, who  tried to break into the pod and is trying to steal our stuff from the shop. They are unarmed (except for their hairspray) and need him to come over and save them!

Big brother…… running off the road because he is laughing, informs them that it was HIM who was getting something out of the garage… he tripped the motion light…hahaha!

 When they finally ventured out the next day in the daylight, they saw a bottle of Gatorade with a note from a secret admirer…hahaha… it was just purely coincidence and a lot of vivid imaginations that made for one wild night!

We never spoke of the stalker again….until now :)